Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
