Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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