Ambien. No doubt about it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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