well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Randomize
