Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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