so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
