i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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