Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You made out with two different species that night
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Congratulations! We have a period
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
