we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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