I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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