my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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