we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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