I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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