it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
