Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
only you would photoshop your dick
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
