To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
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his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
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He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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