when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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