we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just had sex on a roof
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
