Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
