I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
