If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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