if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
No stitches, just platelets and will power
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
