next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Green mimosas i think yes
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize