Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
