Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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