She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
