I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
