did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
