therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
