just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
