she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
