I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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