We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
