dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
