He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
