You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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