This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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