I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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