Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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