Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
