careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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