dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
no, he came in my armpit
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
