Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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