You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
