Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.