why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
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Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
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So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.