Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low