I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
