what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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