New low: just hacked my moms facebook
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
