I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
