Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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