I swear she didn't look like that last week.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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