he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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