Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
