HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
