I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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