The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
