There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
