she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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